Is there anything better than starting a new planner? That sense of freedom and organization I get from marking down loved one's birthdays, special dates like my ordination anniversary and my church's Homecoming service, and upcoming life rituals (weddings, baptisms, ordinations, etc.) truly delights me. I feel like I'd love New York in the fall, as Tom Hanks' character writes to Meg Ryan's character in You've Got Mail: I would love a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils. The beginning of the cooler nights, the faint hinting of crunching leaves, the feeling of possibility. Autumn truly is something to relish.

When I began 5th grade, I received my first school planner. I felt like such a grown up, having a whole book that was mine to write down all of my appointments, from homework due dates to dance classes to flute lessons to dinners with grandparents. I tried to make my handwriting nice and clean and proper so I could use pretty gel pens. I started color coding school classes, including trying to find coordinating colors with my folders, notebooks, elastic book covers and pens.

Obviously, this trend has continued. There are honestly too many beautiful planners to try. I have tried a lot of them. The best overall have been Passion Planner and Sacred Ordinary Days. I loved Passion Planner for a few years right when they came out, particularly the goal-setting features that encouraged you to track your projects and passions (obvs) as well as keep track of times and dates. Passion roadmaps, space for list-making and monthly reflection questions helped me keep track of my larger goals and plans and project dreams. Those pages might sound cheesy, but they were really helpful for me, someone who loves to dream and ruminate on ideas...but needs to write them down and keep track of them or they'll get filed in the back of my brain before I know it.

During my theological education, I switched over to Sacred Ordinary Days. Y'all know I am a Baptist, and we're generally not super liturgical, but I love that the Sacred Ordinary Days planners are available in two main formats: academic year (starting in August) or liturgical year (starting the first Sunday of Advent, late November-early December). Because so much of my church programming happens on the school year calendar, I use the academic format, but I love that the liturgical seasons are still tracked and observed. Feast days are noted, as are national holidays. Lectionary texts (using the Revised Common Lectionary) are noted for each Sunday. There's space for reflection at the beginning of each liturgical season, and on each Sunday (including reminders to rest, which are super important for me!) Sabbath reflection invites checking in using an Examen format.

I also love quotes, and there are quotes from beloved theologians and spiritual writers, which facilitate grounding moments for me. Full disclosure: I don't always complete my reflection pages in writing, but I do spend time with the questions. This planner always being with me is a reminder to strive for balance between my work, home, social and self-time. Even if the places to write in answers remain blank, the spaciousness does its own work.

It's only been the last two years that I have not aligned myself with a school year calendar by the necessity of being a student. And anyway, my church does generally operate on a school year calendar: we have a Homecoming service (September 13 this year), begin our cycle of Godly Play stories again, and generally pick up new programming for the year. However, this year will be different. I mean...of course it will be different. We did quiet down a bit and slow the pace of some of our church events in August, but we also have been undertaking some big congregational questions as the Long Range Planning team prepares to present their work. And most of our programming is built around people who work 9-5 and kids who are in school somewhere between 7-4. This year, as online learning becomes the norm, it is hard to know how to show up, when to show up. This school year, this whole 2020 year, is a reminder that, no matter how much I love planning and thrive when I can organize the crap out of things, sometimes life just doesn't go according to plan. (Amen to that).

And so I wonder what are the parts of using a planner that help me find that delight? Is it some kind of type-A love of things being "just so" and neatly categorized? Is it the feeling of control that I have as I wade through and prioritize commitments to my vocation, my family, my friends, my community and myself? Maybe.

But I also think it is the reminder to be intentional. The time when I look at my planner over a cup of coffee and think, "What do I want to accomplish today?" and I pick two or three things that I know I can do and need to do. And let's be real: sometimes "brush my teeth" or "take out the trash" or "eat dinner" are on the list, and that's ok! Some days those things are our work.

It's not just about the "task list," though. Intentionality at the beginning of my day is also about who I want to be today. It's taking time. Just time. To center myself, to notice my context within the setting of the year and the liturgical season, to breathe deep.

Let me be clear: centering myself intentionally at the beginning of my day does not mean 5, 10, 20 minutes of silent meditation or prayer. Sometimes it does, sure, but usually not. It means having some kind of spaciousness built in to my morning, so I don't just resort to the forgetting-to-eat-breakfast-and-leaving-my-sack-lunch-at-home-and-needing-to-run-to-the-bus-and-did-I-even-brush-my-hair mornings. Spaciousness helps me set the boundaries for myself between home and work so I can make sure I'm fully present in both of those places at the right times. As a minister, building spaciousness into my daily life is the best way I can love myself so I can care for others justly and graciously.

My planner is not magic. Using one doesn't mean that I will execute every move of my life perfectly and on time and feeling empowered and attending all of the life-enriching events possible. I will be late to appointments, I will get stuck in traffic, I will forget my bus pass, I will write down the wrong time for a meeting, I will need to use that extra deodorant I have stashed in my office. And, this year, it means I have had to cross off attending church picnics, birthday parties, vacations, conferences, my friends' weddings, visiting my family, and more.

But my planner still takes up space on my desk, in my purse, in my now-less-useful backpack. There are spaces to pencil in events. To prioritize tasks. To plan projects. And most importantly, there's blank space, space for possibility, space for dreaming and hoping. This is the spaciousness I need right now.

Where do you need spaciousness in your life right now?

What plans have you had to cancel due to COVID-19?

How can you build intentional time to care for yourself and your spirit?

Who is on your team? Who keeps you accountable to loving yourself so you can love others?